Orion is getting so big! He’s started to vocalize so much more, too! In the middle of giggles and lit up little smiles, he “a-goo’s” and squeals. He’s such an adorable kid. And beautiful! How do we monetize this?
I’ve been reading to him as much as I can. Even if he can’t understand the words, I think the tone of my voice and sounds are helping him to form his mouth movements. We’re almost done with The Halloween Tree by Ray Bradbury which has been delightfully creepy, but I think next we’re going to tackle Pinocchio. It’s one of my favorite experiences to have him enraptured while I read him fiction.
I painted again recently. It was so relieving to be able to come up with a sketch and finished painting after two months of empty canvas. I was afraid all spark was gone, and with it, talent, but I really think this latest painting is one of the strongest I’ve ever done.
I’m so frustrated. I’ve been trying to sell my Wonderland painting since I finished it earlier this year. Someone I know from my old high school saw it and laid claim to it, and I, seeing the interest as a sold work, marked it as sold every time I showed it. Nine months later, I think I’ve received $10 so far. I’ve had at least four false meetings with the ‘buyer’ where I was given the impression that he would be paying it in full and I would hand over the painting and they’ve just been to ‘hang out’ instead. Motherfucker, if I wanted to hang out, I would meet you at a bar, and I wouldn’t bring the painting. Being an idiot, the last time I met with him, he wanted the painting so badly that I agreed to let him take it as long as I received some form of substantial payment in two weeks. That was in August.
I guess the anger, the reason I’m so stuck on this lately is because we’re currently broke again. Like, really broke. The outrageous $600 pet deposit we’ve had to pay at our new place has really worked us over. I’ve asked my parents for help, but they won’t be able to give us any money until Sunday, meanwhile, who knows what charges Bank of America will hit us with until then? December will be better. We’re finally done with all of the deposits of our new place and can actually start building reserve money.
I’m tired. I’m stressed out. But I have a beautiful boy and his mother to go home to every day and that really is what keeps me from being crushed.
Cheer up, buttercup.